I have been slowly adding to my Listography site.

listography

dream for an insomniac

I've watched this "Dream for an Insomniac"at least a hundred times. Nobody really gets why I like it so much. It's not as though it is particularly well written or insightful, it just makes me feel kind of warm inside. Frankie and David Shrader. she is hopeless, negative, overly sensitive and romantic. He is perfect for her- what's not to like? Frankie's world is full of sleepless nights, Frank Sinatra music and black and white monotany. When David comes in to her store, her world is full of color. quotes that I like:


David Shrader: "Life can only be understood backwards."
( a quote by Soren Kilkegaard... true nonetheless)

Frankie "Sometimes I study the trivial pursuit cards."
( I like this bc I do this too. ssshhhh)

David Shrader: "There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with, love shouldn't be one of them."
( so true, David, so true.)

Frankie " Anything less than mad passionate extraordinary love is a waste of your time"
(Ah Frankie... you romantic. )


Its' cheesy, it's predictable, it takes me to a happy place.

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is my favorite poet. My roomate, Bethany and I read her poetry in college and loved her immediately. Bethany read this poem to me again when I found out I was pregnant with my first born. I was alone. I was scared. I was young.

At first, I believed him. I believed him when he said that he cared about me. I believed that he was single. I believed that he would help me. I believed that my story would not end in me going alone. At first... but as the months passed and my belly grew I stopped believing in him and put my trust in God. I remember the day it happened- I picture it in my head. I was waiting for him to pick me up. He had promised to go with me to the ultra-sound to see our baby. Though he had stood me up before, I still waited for him to come. I stood there with my back pack, in the parking lot of my apartment waiting. I missed the appointment. From that day on it was clear--Don't put your faith in him. He will always let you down. I hated the thought of my unborn child growing up and waiting for daddy to come and being as disappointed as I was that day.

God is the only one I can count on.God is my Rock, my shelter, my shield. Since that day, God has blessed me in many ways. My sister, friends and parents walked beside me where Freckles' biological father should have been. I met D who fell in love with us both and adopted Freckles as his very own. I have developed and amazing and unbreakable bond with that little girl. What blessings!

I have forgiven him for his lies, his fading out, his abandonment and his selfishness. God made me stronger through this. He created me as a Phenomenal Woman. I am proud to have made it through some of the early days that were so hard emotionally and financially. I am thankful that I had a clear break from him and that they have never met. I am thankful that God gave her D, a daddy who loves her. I am thankful that I had those friends who loved me during the dark ages. I am thankful that God gave freckles, cookie for a sister. I am thankful that I have let go of bitterness and anger. God is writing a new chapter for me.